The Worst and Most Wonderful Experience in my Entire Life.

I woke up early on February 7th to go to the bathroom and blow my nose and as I walked to the bathroom I felt the strangest sensation ever. Turns out my water had broke. I was 38 weeks and 5 days an my some was ready. I was ready…so I thought. Once it happened I just stood there frozen, not knowing what to do so I softly called my younger sisters name who’s bedroom was right next to the bathroom. She ran downstairs and got my mother who immediately started doing her hair and makeup…as I stood up stairs, soaked and trembling. I had been waiting so long for this moment and once it had happened I was scared and excited and just plain didn’t know what to do. Every new mom must experience this I’m sure. Anyways I go down stairs and talk to my parent who are getting ready and packing up the truck. After an hour and my mom is FINALLY ready to go (after me and my father bitched her out for taking forever to look good for the birth of her first grandchild..I can’t blame her, I was just really ready to go and be in a big bed.) we head out. First stopping at Kelly’s Country Cookin for some breakfast which I do NOT regret since I ended up having a c-section and basically didn’t eat until over 24 hours later. We finally arrive in Galveston, Texas at the hospital where Jude was soon to arrive. We go up to the 3rd floor where all the magic happens and I have this goofy smile on my face my mother just so happened to catch.

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I felt as though I resembled a beaver but it was either the total excitement or exhaustion you could see in my eyes. But this crazy ass journey was only about to begin. I get put into a room pretty fast and the process begins. Doctors and nurses were in and out introducing theirselves to me and making me comfortable. Then the nightmare began. The first nurse comes in to put in my IV. Sounds simple enough right? NOT AT ALL. You see apparently my veins are small and like to hide so the nurse couldn’t locate any vein. She goes and gets another nurse who try’s to find one but no luck. The third nurse (my least favorite and at that point I was done if she rotted in hell) decided to just go digging around in my hand and inner wrist looking for a vein. There was blood and excruciating pain but no vein. Oh yeah once she did hit a vein and what do you know the bitch collapsed! Long story short, 2 & 1/2 HOURS, 3 nurses, 3 doctors, an ultrasound machine and lidocaine later, they got my IV in..then it was time for the epidural which was pretty much a walk in the park after that whole ordeal. The drugs were flowin I couldn’t feel my legs it was all good. Until I found out I couldn’t eat anything or drink anything until my son was born. You’d think with modern medicine they’d figure out how to not piss off a super pregnant woman wanting a ding-dong right before giving birth but I sucked it up. Of corse I have never been more thirsty in my life than when I was told I couldn’t have it. My mouth was like the Sahara dessert and even better my oxygen was low and not enough was getting to the baby so I was put on oxygen which made my cottonmouth even more worse. I was put on pictosin to kinda speed up the process because once your water is broken the baby must be delivered sooner rather than later to prevent infection…HA! (we’ll get to that snarky comment later) turns out the pictosin was causing my baby’s heart to drop after every contraction which worried the doctor. They kept coming in to check my dilation which eventually never got past a 4cm so you know what that means!! C-section. So after they decided that was the route we were going to take something strange started happening. My epidural had worn off on the entire left side of my body and I could feel everything but only on the left side. How awkwardly painful that was! I give props to the women who use no drugs. Fuck that! It was finally time for me to be wheeled back into surgery, my mother in toe with her scrubs on but first I had to have the epidural removed and have a spinal put in. While my mom waited outside the operating room they moved me to the surgery bed. I’m a bigger woman and I couldn’t feel my legs from the epidural so I had trouble getting on to the other bed. The doctor made rude remarks about how I was a “big mamma” which made me very upset. Then this doctor was walking someone through my spinal! like as if she had NEVER done one before! And I could do nothing but hunch over and hold still. I could hear him saying

No not there! Push deeper, keep going, stop that’s too much! Pull it out!

you can imagine how scared I was hearing this shit! Anyways they finally get that done and my mom comes in. They strap me down and start the c-section and I can’t even describe to you how strange it is to feel your insides being pushed around. I started getting extremely nauseous and almost threw up, then I started severely shaking and could not stop. I had no clue what was going on but it felt almost like I was going into shock. I heard them talking and it grew very silent. All of the sudden I heard a small cry. Just one then it was silent again. I’m super blind without my glasses and they held him far enough away I couldn’t even see him. They took him back to get cleaned off and brought him back for a better look. He was the most beautiful thing I had seen in my whole life. The first time I met my son he was blowing bubbles out of his lips and I couldn’t help but laugh. My world had changed forever and I was okay with that.

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So we finally get home after 4 days of healing in the hospital. The ride home was a nightmare filled with bumps (notwhat someone with staples in their guy would ever enjoy.) and not to mention it was freezing and raining. And so let the healing process begin. I was just over a week into healing when I got my staples out and realized there was something off. I.looked.like.frankenstein down there! The incision scar looked horrific! All I could do is look in the mirror and cry. I started to become worried that something was wrong. My mother had taken off work to help when he was born but now she was back to work for a total of a day and a half when I decided to call the doctors to see if they would take a look at my scar. I was told I had to go straight back to labor and delivery in Galveston. So once again we all pack up plus one and head back to Galveston. We get there thinking that it was nothing serious and at the most of just get medication after three doctors and nurses looked at me they concluded that I had an internal infection and had to go into surgery again. It was the one of the worst things a new mother healing wants to hear…especially a single mother.

So later that night I went in for surgery the second time in less than two weeks and began the healing process all over again. I remember when the spinal epidural started wearing off. It was so painful but yet I still couldn’t move my legs. I remember getting out into my room and the doctors coming in telling me they had to change the dressing on my wound. My wound was about 10 inches long and 5 inches deep. They left it open to prevent another infection and it had to heal from the inside out. They came in and started pulling this huge roll of gauze out of me and all I could do was scream from the extreme pain I was in. I have never in my life experienced this much pain. Childbirth was nothing compared to this. They even had me on morphine and I was screaming at the top of my lungs and grasp the bed. I felt so bad for my grandmother. Helplessly watching me and yelling at the doctors. My mother was out running some errands and felt so horrible when she came back and heard about what happened but in reality she was lucky she didn’t have to be there. So for the next 7 or so days this small 9X10 room would be our home. And by our I mean me, my mom, my grandma, AND my newborn son. As the days went on the dressing changes got better since I was doing them twice a day. But when it was time to go I had to have someone able to do the dressing change at home because my insurance screwed me over and I couldn’t get home health care or a woundvac. My mom was finally able to do it. She credits The Walking Dead that I got her into before season 4 when I was still pregnant. She said otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to deal with the gore of it all. So now two months later I’m still healing and there have been bumps along the way but I wouldn’t trade one second of the excruciating pain for the smiles I get from my sweet Jude. He makes everything worth while and gets me through my toughest moments.

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